Things I learned from bowling...

So, we just finished up our 36 week bowling league. This was a first for me and I had bowled probably a total of 10 times prior to joining the league. We did okay, we got 3rd place overall and 2nd in the second half. I think there were 15 teams. Who knew I would learn so much...

1. I was good even when I wasn't. I did improve, but at the beginning I was pretty bad. However, through the magic of handicaps, I got 98 points just for showing up. I think maybe it was the highest there. It dropped to 76 by the end, but still pretty helpful.


2. They don't count handicaps in your personal score. Every time we finished, my teammates would be like... hey, you bowled a 100 tonight. And, I was like, no... I bowled a 198! And, they were like... no, you don't count the handicap in your score, just the teams total. And, I was like... why the heck not!? I would always beat everyone if they did. And, they were like... okay, point over.


3. The bowling alley bathrooms are nasty. Enough said.


4. The bowling alley machinery has issues. Just a few of the problems encountered... balls getting stuck. Missing pins (sometimes 1, sometimes 8). Pins just falling onto the lane as you're bowling (always good for a laugh). The machine wiping away all the pins after the first delivery and counting it a spare (you don't get to keep it, sadly). They players all have these hand signals for what's wrong. They yell up to the counter and do the hand signal for what's wrong. It's quite funny. Perhaps the funniest thing is when they have to manually set one pin. You just see this hand come down and place a pin on the lane. Cracks me up every time.


5. If it's 1-2, it's going to be a long night. The notorious lanes 1 and 2 are the worst in the bowling alley. When we were unfortunate enough to get those, we just figure it's going to take at least an extra 30 minutes. We also figure on Ray getting mad and a) throwing his shoe, ball bag, etc b) kicking the ball return or c) running up and down across the rest of the lanes yelling because everyone else has gone home anyway.


6. Brook! AKA Brooklyn, it is usually yelled by the other players whenever the ball goes to the left of the head pin rather than the right. I was totally lost the first time it happened.


7. Allen Cheerleader: When there is three pins left, in a roll, with spaces in between (like missing teeth). I don't condone it, I'm jut reporting it.


8. Fact'd. When you bowl a good ball, but the pins just don't go down. Such as: dude, you just got fact'd. And sometimes that cleverly disguised PG version isn't used at all.


9. To the Wall! Nothing but strikes from here out. I don't really know why it means that.


10. Not all strikes are equal. If you bowl a strike, but on a horrible ball, at least one member of the opposing team will bend over and pretend to throw up, as what they witnessed just made them that sick.


11. The lanes can be dry or wet but are rarely perfect. I still don't know exactly what that means either, but I should learn because it seems to be a very good thing to blame bad bowling on.


12. Beer Frame. Whenever everyone bowls a strike except for one person, that person has to by everyone else a beer. It doesn't always happen, but someone always notices.


13. Sandbagger! Means a person who bowls bad on purpose to keep a low handicap, but is usually yelled in humor at someone who has bowled an otherwise perfect game and then does not strike. Then, everyone yells sandbagger! at him like he did it on purpose.


14. Cherry picker! Usually yelled at a bowler when there are two pins left side by side and he only gets one of them. I don't know why.


15. You have to do the hand slap or the fist bust ever time. Every time you bowl, you have to slap hands with your teammates if you got a mark (strike or spare) or bust fits if you didn't. This usually applies to the other team too, in the interest of showmanship. But some teams have different rules. Like hand slaps with both hands. Or only fist busts. Or, no fist busts. And, sometimes the spectators get into it to. There's an awfully lot of hand slaps and high fives going on, let me tell you. And don't leave anyone hanging, for goodness sakes. They'll either chase after you screaming slaphands! slaphands! or look all puppy dog sad.

Oh, yes. Bowling. How could I not do it again next year? Actually, I think it will be pretty easy.

Kitchen / Dining "Central Perk" Renovation, Day... who knows? Who cares?

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Originally uploaded by brad_holt

Ahh, the day I have been waiting for. The day I can claim "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!" Well, it's probably a little too early for that but, hey, if it's good enough for the President, it's good enough for me. But other that one stubborn, wacked-out angled wall of crown molding that caused me to cuss more in an hour than I had in my whole life, it really is done. I still have a few little accents to put up as I find them. Things didn't turn out quite as "Central Perk-ish" I had first imagined, but I'm happy with the result. I got less inclined to make things "eclectic" as I went along. So, the brick wall went out as did the green trim. The menu chalk board got down sized and removed as a focus piece. I'm still going to make my red SERVICE arrow though and hang it above the cabinets. And, I'm going to get a coffee maker. Because I think I would be too embarrassed to admit to someone that I couldn't serve them a cup of coffee in a coffee house themed kitchen. Heck, I might even try a cup myself. You never know about me. I'm a loose cannon.

Yes, there are photos. They can be found here.

Kitchen / Dining "Central Perk" Renovation, Days 15-21

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Originally uploaded by brad_holt

I've had a "week and counting" sickness which has decidedly slowed progress, but I'm happy to announce the tile is now finished! I love the backsplash. I think it really added a lot and made the kitchen look a lot more expensive, even though the tumbled stone is really quite affordable. I sprayed a few pieces with nickel metallic paint (the same paint I used to transform my bronze cabinet pulls), so I think that helps pull it together with the knobs and faucet. I saved myself some money too since those the metallic decos are $5 each (our cost) to buy them ready-made. I hope to get a new stove someday, one that won't cover up the backsplash (plus it's a horrible stove anyway). I still have mixed feelings about the floor (which is not fun feelings to have). I wish I had went a little lighter. The brown color is coming off a little orange-y with the dark cabinets and brown walls. I'm coming around to it, though. I think when I get the while trim up it will help break it up a little. All-in-all, I think it's coming along very nicely. Maybe I'll get finished up this weekend, if I can just get well.

Follow the progress over at Flickr.

Kitchen / Dining "Central Perk" Renovation, Day 14

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Originally uploaded by brad_holt

'Twas the night before the flooring and all through the house... Brad was driving himself crazy trying to get ready and acting like a louse. I was so not in the mood to work this evening, but flooring is coming tomorrow so I had to get ready. That included painting. With a brand new roller that broke--no exaggeration--within two rollings. Something came loose inside and it just swiveled every which way. So, that made things even more unpleasant. Here's just one example of some fun I had. I knocked over a full glass of water onto my cabinets which I had just finished putting a coat of stain on. That ticked me off, so I threw the cup and what water was left on it splashed onto the wall I had just painted. That really ticked me off, so I threw down the roller, which knocked over a can of polyurethane off a table and 90% of it spilled on the floor (that was fun to clean up, plus I needed the polyurethane). So, I decided it was time for a break. Anyway, I eventually got everything done, cleaned up and moved the oven and fridge out by myself, which was quite a challenge in itself. Tomorrow is flooring and backsplash (at least it BETTER BE) and, hopefully, this weekend I will get the crown and base molding up. Then I will be done!

Follow the progress over at Flickr.

Kitchen / Dining "Central Perk" Renovation, Days 6-13

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Originally uploaded by brad_holt

The cabinets are mostly done! The cabinets are mostly done! With exception of a few problem spots I have to address and all that crap on the counter, I think they look pretty awesome! Tomorrow is painting day (I've settled on Latte with white trim, after turning my back on the "June Day" yellow with stained trim). Hopefully, Friday is flooring day, but I've already been bumped once. Can you believe that? Me. Bumped on flooring. I. Have. Never. In. My. Life... oh, okay. Whatever. After the flooring I can start moving stuff back in. And dust my house! Those things should start to get back to normal next week. A little sooner than I had anticipated, so that's good.

Kitchen / Dining "Central Perk" Renovation, Day 4 & 5

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Originally uploaded by brad_holt

I really thought I could contain the dust. How naive of me. I tried really hard. I did. I completely sealed off the kitchen with plastic. I taped up the vents. I opened up all the windows. I was proud of myself. But, it's kind of like Jurassic Park when they say that "life will find a way"... except it's the dust that found a way. It didn't help that anytime the front door opened it changed the air pressure and breached my plastic barrier. Oh, well. Things needed a good dusting anyway.

The neighbors will all be glad to know that demo is complete! It's probably a good time too. I think they were about to plan a revolt. I dusted everything off today, so I'm ready to stain the cabinets and paint. Hopefully, I'll have some major progress to show off next week.

For now, I will go take a shower and wash out the several pounds of dust in my hair. Today, I got to see what I will look like when I'm old and gray. Ehh, it wasn't all the bad.

If you like, follow the progress over at Flickr.